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Post by coop on Sept 22, 2005 10:29:27 GMT -5
[glow=blue,2,300]One day a guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "if you can make that horse over there laugh you can have free drinks for the rest of the night".
So he says "ok" and walks over to the horse and whispers something in his ear and he starts laughing and the bartender gives him free drinks for the rest of the night.
The next night the same guy comes back in and the bartender says "if you can make that horse over there cry i will give you free drinks for the rest of the night.
So he walks over there and does something and the horse starts crying, and the bartender gives him free drinks. Then the bartender asks what the man did to make the horse laugh and what he did to make him cry.
The man says "To make him laugh I told him I had a bigger thingy than he does and to make him cry I showed him". [/glow]
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Post by coop on Sept 22, 2005 10:31:12 GMT -5
[glow=blue,2,300] OK, so a man walks into a bar with a large box, the bar tender goes up to him and asks "whats in the box".
The man says "I'll show ya' if you get me a beer."
So of course the bar tender gets the man a beer, the man drinks it, and he pulls out a little foot tall man and he pulls out a little piano. The little man starts playing the piano!
Next the bar tender asks "hey! thats prety cool, where did ya' get that?"
The man says" I'll tell ya' if you get me another beer." So the bar tender gets the man another beer, the man drinks it, and he says "I got it from a geenie and a lamp"
The bar tender says "If ya' let me barrow that geenie and that lamp I'll give ya' another beer."
The man says "Oh, Okay!"
The bar tender gets the man another beer, the man drinks it, and the man gives the bar tender the lamp.
The bar tender rubs the lamp and the geenie pops out!
The geenie says "Master, I grant you one wish, what is it?"
The bar tender says "I wish for a million bucks!!!" And all of a sudden a million ducks start flying into the room. "What the heck is this!!! I wished for a million bucks not a million ducks!!!"
And the man says "Well did you think I wished for a 12 inched pianist!"[/glow]
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Post by coop on Sept 22, 2005 10:32:05 GMT -5
[glow=blue,2,300] A gay guy walks into a bar and says "bartender give me a brewskie."
The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind here."
The gay continues, "I'll just sit in the corner and drink my beer and won't say anything."
The bartender says, "Well, all right!" and pours a beer.
A while later a cowboy walks in and says "Bartender give me a beer! I'm so thirsty I could lick the sweat off a cow's balls"
A voice is heard from the corner. "Moo! Moo! Buckaroo!"[/glow]
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Post by coop on Sept 22, 2005 10:38:52 GMT -5
[glow=blue,2,300] Q. Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? A. Ask your mother. Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony? A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts. Q. Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony? A. She is the one who can eat the last donut![/glow]
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Post by coop on Sept 22, 2005 10:43:19 GMT -5
[glow=blue,2,300]Whelp...here are a few more jokes! Hope you enjoy them![/glow]
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Post by Fast Orange :-)) on Sept 22, 2005 20:16:55 GMT -5
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. >Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful ... CAREFUL!! Put in >some more butter!! Oh my Gosh!! You're cooking too many at once. TOO >MANY!! Turn them!! TURN THEM NOW!! We need more butter. Oh my Gosh!! WHERE >are we going to get MORE BUTTER?! They're going to STICK!! Careful ... >CAREFUL!! I said be CAREFUL!! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! >Never!! Turn them! HURRY UP!! Are you CRAZY? Have you lost your mind? >Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the > salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!!" > > The wife stared at him. "What is wrong with you? You think I > don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?" > > The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels >like when I'm driving".
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Post by coop on Sept 22, 2005 21:41:47 GMT -5
[glow=blue,2,300]Lol thats funny! I swear my mom does that everytime we get into the car whether it's me or my dad driving![/glow]
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Post by Fast Orange :-)) on Sept 22, 2005 21:56:53 GMT -5
Ha Ha I thought so too!! But my husband does that to me BAD! Must mean I'm a bad driver... hehe
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Post by coop on Sept 22, 2005 21:59:16 GMT -5
[glow=blue,2,300]Or pretending to be a race car driver out on the streets just a tad to long;D[/glow]
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Post by Fast Orange :-)) on Sept 22, 2005 22:04:38 GMT -5
hehe... Yeah thats probably the problem!! At least I haven't started making the noises yet!! hehe Vroom Vroom
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Post by coop on Sept 22, 2005 22:05:48 GMT -5
[glow=blue,2,300]Sorry to burst your bubble but I think you just broke that [/glow]
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Post by Fast Orange :-)) on Sept 22, 2005 22:12:41 GMT -5
Guess I did huh?!? ;D
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Post by coop on Sept 22, 2005 22:14:35 GMT -5
[glow=blue,2,300]Yep, I guess you did! It's ok, your still loved by someone in the world lol![/glow]
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Post by Fast Orange :-)) on Sept 22, 2005 22:17:34 GMT -5
Heck I hope so!! hehe
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