a new joke

[April]

The good son :

An old man lived alone in a small town. He wanted to dig his potato
>> garden but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son
>> Fred, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter
> to
>>
>> his son and described his predicament.
>>
>> Dear Fred,
>>
>> I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant
>> my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up
> a
>> garden plot. If you were here, I know you would dig the plot for me.
>> Love Dad
>>
>> A few days later he received a letter from his son:
>>
>> Dear Dad,
>> For heaven's sake, don't dig up that garden! That's where I buried the
>> BODIES.
>> Love Fred
>>
>> At 4 am the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug
> up
>>
>> the entire garden plot without finding any bodies. They apologized to
>> the old man and left. That same day the old man
>> received another letter from his son:
>>
>> Dear Dad,
>>
>> Go ahead and plant the potatoes now. That's the best I could do under
>> the circumstances.
>> Love Fred

[April]

>>A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the
> > counter and says, "Hi... You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd
> > really
> > rather have a job."
> >>
> >>The social worker behind the counter says, "This is amazing, your timing
> >>is
> > excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who
> > wants
> > a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful, nymphomaniac daughter.
> > You'll
> > have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your
> > clothes.
> > Because of the long hours, all your meals will be provided too. You'll be
> > expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You will have to
> > satisfy all her sexual urges.
> >>
> >>You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. And finally,
> > the starting salary is $200,000 a year."
> >>
> >>The guy, wide-eyed, says, "You're bullnutstin' me!"
> >>
> >>The social worker says, "Yeah, well... you started it"

[April]

It is with the saddest heart that I must pass on the following news.

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment
community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.

Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins. Betty Crocker, and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he was still a crusty old man and was considered a roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, and two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had a bun in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly dad, Pop Tart, and an estranged brother on the west coast, Sour Dough.

The funeral was held at 350 for about 20 minutes